MrSquishyface IS MISSING!
by MovingSomewhereElse
Summary: Has Jasper gone insane? Why is Bella being questioned? Where is Edward at? Why did Emmett call Bella? READ TO FIND OUT! Made for BINGO in English.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a One-shot for school. This is dedicated to Mrs. Hogan, who is my English teacher.**

**~Kati (Emmett's Twin)**

BPOV

I was just sitting in my room waiting for Edward to come home when the cell phone that Alice had gotten for me went off. I looked at the caller ID. It was Emmett.

_Oh, joy!_ I thought as I picked it up.

"BELLA!" Emmett boomed in my ear, making me wince. I decided to be evil.

"EMMETT! WHY ARE WE YELLING?" I yelled back.

"OW! MY EARS!"

"HOW DO YOU THINK _I_ FELT?"

"Um…sorry."

"That's okay, Emmett. I forgive you…this time." I paused "Everyone else can hear me, right?"

"Yup!"

"Yippee. Note the sarcasm. Where is Edward?"

"Right next to me!" WHAT!

"What? He's supposed to be here." I pouted a little "Hold the phone away from your ear, Emmett!"

"Okay!" His voice sounded distanced, so I sucked in a deep breath. Charlie wasn't home yet, so I could still yell at him.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE OR ELSE! I MEAN IT!" I yelled as loud as I could; hopefully so that everyone else could hear, too.

"Wow. Not even Rose can yell _that_ loud. Nice job Bell-OW!" Rosalie probably smacked him.

"She smacked you, didn't she?"

"Yup" He whispered, popping the 'p'.

"Nice. Good job, Rosalie!"

I heard laughing in the background.

"So…not that I don't like talking to you or anything, but why are you calling?" Just then, Edward landed in my room, making my heart skip a beat. He grabbed my phone and snapped it shut.

"He was calling to ask you to come over. We are doing something you might like."

Well, unless Emmett wasn't involved, I was okay with it.

"Okay, and this event is…?"

"A surprise!"

I groaned. He knew I hated surprises, but he still liked to give me surprises…hmm, I wonder why?

He grabbed me and took me outside to his waiting Volvo.

**AT THE CULLENS!**

We were just pulling up the driveway to the mansion when Emmett jumped in front of us. Edward slammed on the brakes and had me out of the car in a millisecond. I was then slung over Emmett's shoulder and was in front of the house.

"Well, aren't we a little impatient today?"

"You have the right to remain silent. And if you don't I will take appropriate measures."

What. In. The. World?

"What? Emmett, what is going on?"

He gently set me down at the dining room table and Jasper came in. He was carrying duct tape, ropes, a lamp, clipboard with papers on it and a pen.

"Jasper, what are those things for?"

He looked at me with a glare that could kill the dead. I shivered involuntarily.

"You will refer to me as Detective Whitlock, Miss Swan."

"Detective…Whitlock? Okay…where is Alice?"

He put his hands down on the table.

"I will be the one asking the questions, Miss Swan." He had Emmett tie me to the chair and duct tape my feet to the floor.

"Emmett! What are you doing to m-" he cut me off by putting duct tape over my mouth.

I wanted to say 'HEY!', but it came out more like 'mwey!'

I glared at him and hatred seeped out of me like steam. I knew he could feel it, that's why I intensified it.

"Well, Miss Swan, where did you put it?"

Put what? I didn't put anything anywhere. Now I was really confused.

"Confused? I'll narrow it down. Where did you put ?"

He leaned over the table, trying to look menacing. All I could do was sit there and look at him for two seconds, then burst out laughing. He ripped the tape off of my face and I roared with laughter.

"Who…*snicker* or what…*giggle* is ?"

He looked at me dumbstruck.

"…the rubber ducky that usually sits on the edge of the tub in the third-floor bathroom. He went missing the last time you were over here, so I thought you took !"

I looked at him and realization hit me. Oh. My. Goodness!

"That was _your_ duck, wasn't it?" I stared at him and he quickly looked away. I took that as a confirmation and started to laugh again.

"Oh my gosh! You are getting worked up over a DUCK!"

I continued to laugh until I was crying.

"Maybe" He finally replied.

"Okay, I'll tell you where he is."

He looked at me expectantly and sighed.

"He is underneath the sink."

"Really?" He looked at me like I was crazy.

I nodded.

I just hoped Alice did like I advised and moved him.

**OMG!**

**That was too funny! No sequels coming unless I REALLY feel like it!**

**~Kati (Em's Twin)**

**Emmett: TWIN!**

**Me: NOT AGAIN! *Facepalm***

**Emmett: Yes, AGAIN!**

**Jasper: Why, Lord, why didn't you give him a brain?**

**Me: IDK**

**God: Because I ran out of them when he came through.**

**Jasper & Me: O.O Really?**

**God: Yes.**

**Me: WHY!**

**God: I'm sorry.**

**Me: I don't blame you. He just doesn't have good timing.**

**God: Okay, goodbye, young ones.**

**Jasper: I'm not young!**

**God: You are compared to me. I'm 99,756,910 years old.**

**Everyone in the world: O.O**

**Emmett: Do you know all of the "Yo Mama" jokes?**

**God: Yes.**

**Me: *Facepalm* I'm sorry he turned out this way.**

**Jasper: Me too. Me too.**


	2. AN: NOTICE

**OMG! NO-ONE REVIEWED THE FIRST CHAPTER! NOOOOO!**

***IN CREEPY VOICE***

**IF YOU DO NOT REVIEW…YOU WILL DIE!**

**Okay…I have officially been diagnosed with strep throat and today is the ONLY DAY I get off. Ugh! I go back to school tomorrow. :(  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**My new favorite songs- ****I hope you die**** and ****uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss**** by **_**the bloodhound gang**_

**Jasper: Why does everyone have to die if they don't review? If no one reviews, then all of the vampires that live like that will die, too.**

**Me: Um, you do know that you guys and every other vampire that lives like you will survive, though, right?**

**Jasper: oh…I guess I had an Emmett moment. Didn't I?**

**Me: Yupp!**

**Emmett: HEY! What's that supposed to mean?**

**Jasper & Me: Um…NOTHING!**

**Emmett: Yeah, RIGHT! *Charges Kati***

**Me: EEEP! *Pulls out flamethrower & torches Emmett***

**Jasper: *sits on sidelines, watching***

**Me: Phew!**

***Devil rises up from the underworld***

**Devil: WHY! *gets down on hands & knees, begging Kati* Take him back, PLEASE! I'll do anything! I'll obey Him! ANYTHING TO GET THAT CREEP AWAY FROM ME!**

***God comes down from Heaven***

***Kati sits on ground & grabs popcorn that came out of nowhere***

**God: Lucifer, will you really stop trying to take over?**

**Devil (Lucifer): Yes! I will! Just get him away from me!**

***Kati offers popcorn to Jasper. He willingly takes it and sits down next to her***

**God: *beaming* Of course! And as for you two, *turns to Kati & Jasper, who freeze mid-bite* I will give you Emmett back.**

***Kati & Jasper look at each other then run away…screaming***

**Lucifer: Aw! I feel bad for them!**

**God: Me too.**

***Emmett appears in a puff of smoke***

**Emmett: I'M ALIVE!**

**Lucifer: *girly screech***


End file.
